Abby, Mormons, Being a Woman

If you read many of our posts you know we only see equality between men and women, we are all people, reconnecting with nature, reconnecting with ourselves.

But throughout the ages women have been assigned the back seat and regarded as second class citizens.

Religion has played a major roll in all this, "women should keep silent," "women should obey their husbands." "Women should know their place..." You've heard it all before.

So, we were interested in an article posted by Abby, it deals with her realization and awakening that women are not subordinates to anyone or anything, it's entitled, "The Mormon Church Made Me Hate Myself."

Abby Van Buren is a student at Utah Valley University studying journalism and the world around her. Her blog, "Dear Abby," explores everything. 

We're not picking on Mormons, but Abby discusses her adventures as a Mormon in the article, so it is what it is.

Here's a sample of the post and a link to the full article:

"This is another thing that I noticed a lot during my time in this church. Other members of the church will tell you that if you question something, pray about it. They want you (or at least they say they want you) to always ask God if something is true. But here’s the catch. If you come back from that prayer or pondering session and feel that the doctrine isn’t correct, you’re wrong. I experienced this first hand.

I had an open mind and heart about everything this church had to offer me but every time I would ponder it, something felt wrong. Actually, a lot of things felt wrong (but we’ll get to those later). But when I would talk to my church leaders about my finding, they would shrug it off or tell me that I wasn’t asking properly or I have closed heart. They put the blame on me, not the sexist doctrine.

The mind games began.

I felt guilt. I felt like I was doing something wrong. God didn’t want to speak to me or maybe I just couldn’t understand him correctly because this church did not feel right to me. I was in this cycle of feeling shame so I would go to the LDS church to try to feel cleansed and the cycle continued. I would feel a distance from a doctrine the church taught, and I again felt guilt. Guilt. Always guilt.

I was told in church that as a woman I “have, by divine nature, the greater gift and responsibility for 

home and children and nurturing there and in other settings.” This is a quote from the Mormon Message called “Women in the Church.” I cannot act in all things to bring salvation to man, but don’t you worry. I can nurture children and make bread and keep my home in order (it’s like we’re stuck in the 1800’s for Christ’s sake). “As a disciple of Jesus Christ, every woman in the Church is given the responsibility to know and defend the divine roles of women, which include that of wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend.” Another quote from the same article.

Wife, mother, daughter, sister…why can’t I just be a person?

Continue Reading...Here

You Don't Own Me

Believe it or not, we get on quite well with the Christian community, we often agree to disagree, and we're okay with that.

One such disagreement was about the roll of women in marriage.

We were told by our well meaning Christian friend the Holy Spirit says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ. so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."

"So," we asked, "you believe that the man you'll marry isn't really your partner, you're not equals, you are subservient to his whims, no matter what?

She told us without flinching, "I will be to my husband what the church is to Christ, submissive, obedient."

"So if he commands you to be something or do something that you felt was ethically or morally wrong you would obey?" we asked.

Her answer was fascinating, "we're talking about obedience here. It's not about being submissive, it's about being obedient. The Bible commands wives to obey their husbands in EVERYTHING."

Yes, it's there in the Bible, for all to read.  In Ephesians: “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands…For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church…Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

Finally we just told her, "we really think one of the reasons women are leaving the church is because of the rediscovery of ancient faiths like Paganism."

While Christianity claims to advance the status of women, it was Christianity that forced itself as the sole religion of the Roman Empire and the feminine became spiritually subordinate to the male.  

There was only one god – and he's a guy.

Many people are leaving religion, choosing instead personal spirituality.

We explained to our young friend "the Pagan values are simple, your spouse and family come first, rather than god or church dogma, and no one owns you."

Just like in our rituals, we don't command women to remain silent, actually no one stays silent, we are all equals, we all participate, in marriage it is the same.

Pagans believe marriage is a bond to be entered into only after considerable thought and reflection. As with any aspect of life, it has its cycles, its ups and its downs, its trials and its triumphs. 

Brides are never given away like in other weddings, you've heard it, "who gives the bride in marriage?" A woman is not property to be bought and sold, given and taken, instead the bride is asked if she comes of her own free will.

Well, our young friend wasn't convinced, she didn't change our minds either, but we did invite her to our next Full Moon Ritual. We don't think she's coming, but maybe someday she will realize she isn't owned by anyone.