Believe it or not, we get on quite well with the Christian community, we often agree to disagree, and we're okay with that.
One such disagreement was about the roll of women in marriage.
We were told by our well meaning Christian friend the Holy Spirit says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ. so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."
"So," we asked, "you believe that the man you'll marry isn't really your partner, you're not equals, you are subservient to his whims, no matter what?
She told us without flinching, "I will be to my husband what the church is to Christ, submissive, obedient."
"So if he commands you to be something or do something that you felt was ethically or morally wrong you would obey?" we asked.
Her answer was fascinating, "we're talking about obedience here. It's not about being submissive, it's about being obedient. The Bible commands wives to obey their husbands in EVERYTHING."
Yes, it's there in the Bible, for all to read. In Ephesians: “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands…For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church…Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
Finally we just told her, "we really think one of the reasons women are leaving the church is because of the rediscovery of ancient faiths like Paganism."
While Christianity claims to advance the status of women, it was Christianity that forced itself as the sole religion of the Roman Empire and the feminine became spiritually subordinate to the male.
There was only one god – and he's a guy.
Many people are leaving religion, choosing instead personal spirituality.
We explained to our young friend "the Pagan values are simple, your spouse and family come first, rather than god or church dogma, and no one owns you."
Just like in our rituals, we don't command women to remain silent, actually no one stays silent, we are all equals, we all participate, in marriage it is the same.
Pagans believe marriage is a bond to be entered into only after considerable thought and reflection. As with any aspect of life, it has its cycles, its ups and its downs, its trials and its triumphs.
Brides are never given away like in other weddings, you've heard it, "who gives the bride in marriage?" A woman is not property to be bought and sold, given and taken, instead the bride is asked if she comes of her own free will.
Well, our young friend wasn't convinced, she didn't change our minds either, but we did invite her to our next Full Moon Ritual. We don't think she's coming, but maybe someday she will realize she isn't owned by anyone.
