Around 2004, singer and guitarist Jon Steingard became very popular within Christian community and with the band Hawk Nelson.
Now, 7 albums of Christian music recorded, Steingard, 36, says it’s over.
He’d started to have doubts and felt troubled each time he went on stage to praise God.
His doubts about the existence of God and the Bible troubled him and affected his performances.
Steingard announced on Instagram his doubts and confessed that he was done.
“Having grown up in a Christian family...I am now finding that I no longer believe in God. … It didn’t happen overnight or all of a sudden. It’s been more like pulling on the threads of a sweater, and one day discovering that there was no more sweater left.”
When he began opening up, in confidence, to other Christians, they hesitatingly confirmed that they had serious doubts as well.
“I’ve had private conversations with trusted friends about my doubts, and discovered to my absolute shock that they are shared by nearly every close friend my age who also grew up in the church.
I am stunned by the number of people in visible positions within Christian circles who feel the same way as I do.
Like me, they fear losing everything if they’re open about it.”
He kept asking himself If God is all loving, and all powerful, why is there evil in the world? Can he not do anything about it?
Does he choose not to?
Is the evil in the world a result of his desire to give us free will?
OK then, what about famine and disease and floods and all the suffering that isn’t caused by humans and our free will? …
Consulting and discussing the Bible didn’t answer my questions, it only amplified them.
“Why does God seem so pissed off in most of the Old Testament, and then all of a sudden he’s a loving father in the New Testament?
Why does he say not to kill, but then instructs Israel to turn around and kill men, women, and children to take the promised land?
Why does God lead Job to suffer horrible things just to win a bet with Satan?!
Why does he tell Abraham to kill his son (more killing again), and then basically says, “Just kidding, that was a test”? Why does Jesus have to die for our sins? … If God can do anything, can’t he forgive without someone dying?”
Walking away from belief in God may feel like a loss at some levels, but it’s freedom in so many others.
“We have a tremendous sense of relief now.”
